Chronicles of the First Pile

It’s the mixed feeling of joy and pain after every cuddles. It’s the essence of wholeness after crying a rivers. It’s the greatest answers to life’s hard riddles. Learn the lessons and read once more, The Unfolded First Pile of Letters.


To the valued readers who have been once   Michael by heart,

I have never been so lucky to have you whom I shared with some of the important life and love issues I’ve gone through. Michael may just be a figure without a soul, but thanks to you who have taken place to be Michael and still are yet Michael enough to say your insights about the first eight letters you got. As the journey continues and your pile goes thicker, more life saving stories are waiting to be told, more heroes will be sung and more letters will be inked.

I just wanna say thank you for the following lessons I’ve learned in the past eight letters. And with your answers, let me give you an idea how it molded me as a person. Let’s go back and unfold once more the first pile of letters.

Meet Elizabeth Gilbert.
The First Letter: Quarter to Life
Here, we met Elizabeth Gilbert who taught us the formula to living a balanced life. Her creation: “Eat, Pray, Love” let me feed my physical self by eating solid food and drinking water thrice a day, feed my soul by loving and acquiring knowledge at least twice a day (soul is heart and mind: feed them by showing affection and giving love to others), and feed my spiritual self by talking to God at least once a day. It helped. Somehow. At least. And when I do it altogether, it makes a great leap of a difference. How I wish I could personally meet her, shake her hands and introduce you to her. The letter taught me how to deal with younglife crisis given the Philippine setting where unemployment causes career mismatch, depression and even death to some. It’s implied that the rising population affects chances: all kinds of chances. We learned that career is more than just making a handful of coins but being happy on what you are doing. We were caught in the web of money and happiness and how they become inversely proportional at most times.

Meet my puppy love
The Second Letter: A Sweet Poem
Indeed a very sweet poem about puppy love which was written to put smiles on the readers blues. It’s a fresh starter that taught me how first loves become memorable. It taught me how immaturity rules during the first love affair, how we go crazy during high school and how simple things should be appreciated. I realized that sacrifice is easy when inlove.

Meet Pierre
Letter no.3: Half Past Six
In this letter, we met Pierre, whom I had loved so much four years ago. It taught us to be brave in times of break-up. We tracked down how I met Pierre, how we fell in love, got hurt and lived in lie. We traveled to Beijing, where a fortune teller ended it all. It questioned the credibility of love and if it ever existed. This proved that nothing in the world is permanent except for change, that even love is just a phase, which can last after awhile or even a lifetime. We met Pierre here, but we burried him too in the end, leaving just the memories that later on were of no value prior to moving on.

Meet Megan
Letter number 4: Conversation With my Ex
We met Pierre in the previous letter, we burried him the end, and in this letter, we got him back to life. I met him accidentally after longyears of no communication. We defined destiny and how it differs from choice. It’s destiny that led Pierre and I to friendship and it’s our choice why we elevated to relationship. I learned the value and futility of waiting; that great relationships don’t just come. We don’t have to just sit there and wait, cause sometimes, during our waiting, we don’t notice that love passes by, cause our thinking is just to wait and see when the right time comes. Right time will never come if our mind is closed to such possibilities. We also learned that having dozens of kids ain’t a proof of guy’s straighthood, sometimes, it’s a guilty form of denial.”

Meet Sasha
Letter no. 5: Confessions of a Ramp Model
We met Sasha, a not-so-mainstream shimmy shimmy lipgloss barbie-looking ramp model who have pretty much worn all the brands you could possibly imagine, a friend of mine. We got deeper into her stories and learned that being a model is more than luxury and fame, but instead a game of psychology, a gamble of decision. We went to her set teemed with busy people surrounded by lights and flashes. We learned the art of pretention and the truth that once she walks on runway, people are not looking at her, they are looking at what she wears instead, in fact, they won’t even care if she stumbles, they would laugh for it’s their job to criticize. She introduced us the value of job which boils down to the lessons of the first letter- dealing with younglife crisis.

Meet my father
Letter no. 6: AFather’s Anecdote
In this letter, we met my father, the man behind my strength, my once considered second best to my mother. We learned the value of family and building a home, that no matter what happen, family are our first keepers. The letter introduced us to my childhood life and how homosexuality became both running in genes and influenced by environment. It’s a tie =). I learned that the past plays a big role on where I am now and how I perceive life in beyond. We unfolded old photographs and how it became a tool of realization. We knew that it’s not just the surname which he wants me to pass on to the world, but its the value of family, a home, that he wants me to come back to someday. It’s not just blood that ties a father and a son but also tears, tears of forgiveness. We did grasp the essence of celebrating father’s day.

Meet Onix
Letter no. 7: When the Writer Meets the Painter
We met Onix, the painter who eventually writes. We measured which between commonalities and differences better work in a relationship, majority of whom says differences. We witnessed how love moved a mountain. We learned that love is inspiring, beautiful and the sweetest positive emotion yet felt by humans. I shared my story with Onix, how we met, how we came to a freezing point and how we put boundaries to friendship. I learned so far that it takes a staircase to love, not an elevator. Thanks to Coffee Bean, our rendezvous. I painted him in the end.

Meet Nathan and Mario Maurer
Letter no. 8: Tuesday With Mario
We met Mario Maurer, the Thai heartthrob who’s very famous of movies “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and “Love of Siam” in a pajama party. We listened how Mario talked about love and how silent lovers (like me) were blinded by fears. I talked about Nathan, my ever dearest sweet friend and how I things are gone complicated after that night. In the end, I got confused if it’s Mario or Nathan who kissed me and bit my lower lip. Or if the kiss in the first place ever was real.

The journey continues…
…because all letters deserve an answer.

Credits: photo lifted from:


Posted on August 15, 2012, in LETTERS 1-8 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Mikael from Pasay

    I like letter no. 6 the most. =) think Onix is very handsome.

  2. You’re good! Followed you today, I hope you can also follow my blog. 🙂 Thanks.

  3. I like your writing and ‘the idea’. By the way, at 71 it seems obvious to me that ‘gay’ is just another kind of love… You might be interested in my ‘gay’ post 🙂 …

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