Letter no. 9 Page 3. Claire: Angel of Hope
6:30PM, Starbucks, Tomas Morato St.
I don’t know exactly what bestfriends are made for. I can’t even define the word. Cause never in my life I have one. I have friends, got boyfriends, special friends, but being best is like superlative degree. There’s Marcus who is right beside me. But he’s not my “best”friend, though here I am, about to comfort him for a million times. I am more like a mother to him and he’s more like a prodigal son to me. He doesn’t listen. I warned him several times of not giving a hundred percent love to somebody and he’s always like “who are you to speak like that? Have you been inlove?” And to answer, no, I haven’t been. I had boyfriends, but those are just what they call fling. I don’t know. I just find men mysterious, unreadable.
I hope Marcus has now finally learned his lesson. He is important just as my other friends. I have stereotypes. Men are born to impregnate. I mean not all but that’s just how I see them, or maybe I haven’t met my perfect match yet that’s why I act like this.
Age check, I’m 23, not bad. NBSB (no boyfriend since birth), I mean NSBSB (no serious boyfriend since birth). Pretty, humbly speaking they say, I am not aware. I’m work-obsessed type of girl…, hhhmmm but that’s justifiable. Haay, here we go. I always contest myself. I’m a sales agent by profession who talks about building and structures and all that stuff I never thought about selling love yet and I have no time for men except for Marcus, well he is an exception, he’s gay…and speaking.., I had just nailed a meeting with my boss when I got a phone call from Marcus. And I was quick.
I was thinking about Marcus’ heartache for about thirty minutes on my way here while playing my favorite song.
I also couldn’t think how a lovestory like that should properly be ended. I’d been telling him that love is not true or at least just temporary.., to some people, and here I am, comforting him.
I sneaked at the glass wall of Starbucks before going in and surprisingly saw a stranger Marcus was talking with. Awful. Who the hell could that be. Another heartbreaker? Well that’s something Marcus is fond of doing, talking to stranger and befriending them afterwards. I pushed the door open and fast approached them, sit beside Marcus and gested that I was concern. I couldn’t speak that much. There’s this strange feeling inside that I hadn’t felt before… not excitement, not love, cause love is not true, but worries.
“And why don’t you introduce me to your bestfriend.?”
The man beside Marcus talked now. He had no sign of respect. He’s rugged but cute in side view. I felt awkward in between them.
Marcus interrupted, “Yeah Claire this is Daniel, my new found friend and Daniel, this is Clare my long time bestfriend.”
I was thinking that time, for the record, how many new found friends out there are waiting.
Daniel reached my hand without saying a word. I saw bad intentions in his eyes but I wasn’t sure cause this guy looked different. My heart pounded. I felt mixed emotions as he gazed at me from time to time.
I am here for Marcus, not for anyone else but Marcus. I looked Marcus in the eye, came a little bit closer and whispered but with intention for Daniel to hear. “So, are you guys acquaintance? I mean, do you like go here together and supposed to meet me or, are we even gonna talk about Pierre, or what. Are you ok?” I warned Marcus in a low tone voice.
“No, I’m fine, forget it. Let’s talk about it later. I just met him today, like right now.” Marcus uttered back with a wink and I could guess from the way he talked that he meant he’s interested to Daniel.
I looked back at Daniel like a monster cause I hated him taking advantage of the situation. I knew that he’s not only a friend for Marcus now eventhough they just met earlier today for the very first time.
Let’s give it one more hour and they’ll exchange numbers. And what am I doing here? For the million times to protect Marcus, yes. That’s what best friends are for. I wasn’t so sure what Daniel was thinking of me the moment our eyes met. He’s like a wolf turned bear now. His eyes are begging.. and Marcus is now looking outside.
And now, nobody is talking except for the three pair of eyes on that table blankly looking at one another. Nobody wants to speak first.
I feel his pain. I want to hug him. I want to give him advice but this is not the right time… not unless Daniel evaporates. I feel as if I’m a total stranger. I want this to end. I don’t want Marcus to be hurt again by this man who looks just as another careless tripper. I will end the game.
This is the time.
Still nobody’s talking. Age check, I’m 23 and he’s 24. I’m talking about Marcus, not Daniel. That would probably make a history. This isn’t anymore something I wanna hide for a lifetime. This is sure. Love might not be true, but for me that only applies for men, for real men, like the flings I was with before and like Daniel with his eye’s game. I’ve been waiting for Marcus all my life. Yes, I do love Marcus, I just can’t tell him. He’s not my bestfriend, for me he’s the one, cause he loves selflessly. He better understands more than any other men cause he knows how a girl feels too. I’ve been with him for a long time. He’s surely not aware and I preferred not to tell. I don’t know how will he react.
Before I came here. I was composed to tell Marcus that eventhough it sounds awkward, I like him. I want him to be my boyfriend. It won’t take a rocket scientist to explain. I looked at Daniel. He’s writing something on his planner. I looked at Marcus too, he’s writing something at the back of the coffee receipt. What’s the name of the game then? I’m not here to decode what they’re thinking and in the first place we all have mouths to speak.
As I pulled the my stick pad out of my bag, I wrote.
TO MARCUS… WHO PUTS AN END TO MY WAITING. IN THIS SIMPLE NOTE I’D LIKE TO TELL THE WORLD THAT I LOVE YOU.
I will pin this on the “I was here”-board of Strabucks later.