Letter no. 13: When the Feeling Decides to Die
“For friendship is a water in the pot that heats to the boiling point, it cools down when the fire is dead.”
Due to the urgency of emotion, something lyrical came into me. I felt bad one last minute of October due to some unexpected failures, depression and negativities. I realized, sometimes, there are situations in life where we are beaten up by sudden blow of emotion before even analyzing. Words come out as not meant causing impulsive decisions. Afterall, that’s the function of emotion, to come after a situation, to react after an conflict and grow after an encounter. It was October 29, I asked God to wake me up when October ends, and now is the end of October, barely several days after. I was awakened, I had forgiven and trusted once more. I just loved the fact that these sudden system down have its own perks after- like in every shut down, there’s a power on. I am now fully charged, ready to face the rest of the year’s battle.
And the following poem is dedicated to my heart that cares, to Aaron, a friend who never learn his lessons yet, to the hope of being published next year, to the quick recovery of my father from skin disease and to some who can just simply relate… when the feeling decides, on its own, to just die.
When your heart is as big as the world,
it sees all the tears, it feels all the sores,
When in a brink of trouble, it hears all the summons.
It tastes the bittersweet and even the deepest sorrows.
But when your heart is as tiny as a marble,
that it has no room to understand, or to even at least try,
it’s when my feelings will be suppressed
and my nerves will be fried, deciding to better just die.
When your heart is as heavy as a brick,
it carries all the grudges,it plants all the pains.
When feeling so blue, it’s like big ball rolling,
trotting down your very inch, destroying down my everything.
But when your heart is as light as a feather,
it floats down slowly, flowing with the weather,
when a gust of wind blows it,
it finds a way to land better.
When a heart is as hard as a searock,
it holds great dignity, it stands the test of time,
When in time of violent storm, it stays undone.
But remember a heart that’s hard as a rock
can’t forever be numb.
Cause a rock can be melted by waves eventually by any chance,
not by it’s strenght, never by it’s speed,
but by it’s perseverance.